So, you’ve stumbled onto my humble little blog. Perhaps you are a Millenial wondering why most of your friends aren’t fully employed. Or wondering why ObamaKare is being shoved down your throat. Or why your generation is on the hook for a national debt that stands at $17 $18 Trillion and counting. Maybe you are scratching your head wondering why your President thinks Global Warming the weather is more worrisome than Islamic Terror. And perhaps you’ve started to become aware there might be something the corrupt and biased lame stream media isn’t telling you. The answer, to these and other existential questions, is ... the Left - specifically, the modern American Progressive. Think of this site as a portal to a richer understanding of this answer, a portal purposely designed with a consciously cock-eyed bent to keep it entertaining. Because the First Amendment is forever and the Internet never forgets. (Plus you better figure out FICA isn't the name of a Swedish bikini model, before she eats your entire paycheck.)

How to use the portal? You could dive into my archive*. I was most active here 2010-2012, but that matters not. How many times do I need to demonstrate the central point? To wit, the political / ideological Left is a menace to the constitutional republic and must be resisted lest the American experiment in liberty devolve into socialist dystopia. If it's the more pointed hand-to-hand combat of the comment board that whets your appetite, click the 'My Disqus Comments' widget. I continue to visit that world from time to time as a light diversion. Or you could browse through my blog roll. It's a very representative collection of center-right blogs, though hardly exhaustive. I can't do the political / ideology thing 24x7, and you probably can't either. Leave that to the hysterical, talking point chanting, mob agitating, race baiting, election stealing, gaia worshiping, straw man torching, Islamic Terrorist appeasing, organized Left (aka OFA, MSNBC, UAW, SEIU, Think Progress, Media Matters, most of legacy media, the politically correct faculty lounge, anybody who belonged to Journolist, anybody connected to Occupy Wall Street, anything funded by George Soros or Tom Steyer, their paid Internet trolls, and the rest of the usual Team Leftie suspects).

*Re-posting encouraged. No need to ask for permission. Just follow the commonly accepted convention of acknowledging this site as original source with a link back. That way, you leave the asking for forgiveness to me.

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Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Jack Wiley Dithers' Exclusive Interview With the Senate Majority Leader

(AP) – Jack Wiley Dithers Reporting
“If You Can’t Scoop It, Make It Up.”

I was ushered into the Majority Leader’s office by a grim faced character in a poorly fitted black suit who looked like a reject from the cast of ‘Pulp Fiction.’ As I crossed the threshold, the Majority Leader was peeking furtively through a small crack in his otherwise fully drawn curtains.

JWD: On stakeout duty, Senator?

Reid: Just keeping an eye out for Teabaggers, that’s all.

JWD: Anderson Cooper introduced that term into our politics.*

Reid: Really? Soros told me they put that on their web site themselves.

JWD: Soros?

Reid: Uhhhh, I mean ... Think Progress. Anyway, sit down. Would you like something to drink?

JWD: I’ll take water.

{Here Reid silently made a movement to manipulate something under his desk.}

Reid: I called you here to share some secrets. You see, after I let the world know Mitt Romney owes ten years of taxes, I realized how liberating it can be to unload the burden of carrying secrets.

JWD: Go on.

Reid: Pro wrestling matches are fixed.*

JWD: I knew it! No way Hulk Hogan beats Sean Michaels in 2005 unless the fix is in.

{Here Mr. Pulp Fiction brings me a glass of water.}

Reid: Also, did you know fully two thirds of all American service fatalities in Afghanistan have occurred on Obama’s watch.*

JWD: Somebody alert Code Pink!

Reid: Did you also know 80% of Nevada is federally owned land?* Why, the house I grew up in was built on a old U-2 prototype crash site. The backyard backed up to a nuclear blast test site. The neighborhood kids used to play on a baseball field that had Area 51 as the home run line. Why, I once had to kick an alien in the groin – at least that’s what I think it was – to retrieve an overthrown frisbee.

JWD: I see. This explains a lot.

Reid: And since you brought up Anderson Cooper ... did you know he’s gay?

JWD: Everybody knows, Senator, he just came out.*

Reid: Of what?

JWD: The closet. That’s why the Teabagger thing is so funny.

Reid: Funny? Why?

JWD: Oh never mind. What else do you want to lay on me?

{Here Reid leaned in close and lowered his voice}

Reid: Biden is the source for Obama's national security leaks. See? If he's caught no one will believe he could be the source. Brilliant.

JWD: Pure Genius. Senator, why hasn't the Senate passed a budget the past three years?*

{Here Reid gets a quizzical look on his face}

Reid: Because nobody made me?

JWD: Senator, the law says ....

{Here Reid laughs his ass off}

Reid: Law? Laaaaaaaaaw? Oh, boy, you are a hoot!

{Here Reid reached into a drawer and pulls out a napkin}

Reid: Wanna know what that is, boy?

JWD: A napkin?

Reid: The Obama campaign strategy. Written in Axelrod's own hand. Go ahead read it - don't mind the dried up soy sauce.

JWD: Romney is rich. And a Mormon.

Reid: Less is more, boy. Everybody hates the rich guy. And those Mormons ... don't get me started.

JWD: Aren't you also Mormon, Senator?

Reid: Yeah*, but not that kind.

JWD: What kind?

{Here Reid's back straightens and he grimaces (well, more than usual, anyway).}

Reid: The Republican kind.

(AP) – Jack Wiley Dithers Reporting
“If You Can’t Scoop It, Make It Up.”


Asterisk (*) denotes stuff that is actually true.

Update 8/8/12

How did I fail to asterisk no budget for three years at publishing time? Probably because that's the only thing a Senator absolutely has to do.
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