Meet the Teachers

If you are a parent of school-age children, you know the drill. Rows of educational professionals, apparently arranged in something resembling alphabetical order, sit behind folding tables in a gymnasium or cafeteria, awaiting conferences with parents eager to ensure their progeny receive the instruction from said professionals said progeny deserve, to lock in that wildly successful future said progeny are entitled to.

The lines of parents willing to occupy folding chairs set up in front of the aforementioned folding tables begin to form. In this case, the school is a public school balkanized between “honors” (mostly the progeny of two parent families from the east side of the tracks) and “general ed” (mostly the progeny of broken families from the west side of the tracks). Take a wild guess which educational professionals had dozens lined up and which had nearly none.

==

The Mathematics teacher with a habit of assigning homework before teaching the material said everything was cool with Young Master James except for a tendency to hand in homework late. Go figure.

I thought I smelled alcohol on the US History teacher’s breath. I could be wrong because he seemed perfectly in control of his wits. He’s a young man still.

The Environmental Science teacher – an old man who Young Master James reports is a Global Warming denier – had to look up the computer record to remember who Young Master James is. His eyes brightened when the record came up, and it informed him who Young Master James is. He then kicked off the discussion complimenting Young Master James on his punctuality and good manners. Yep, he’s a conservative.

The Art Foundations teacher said everything was cool with Young Master James, except she wished he tried harder to reach his real potential. Imagine that.

The Band teacher reported Young Master James has been promoted to first chair trumpet, but asked about his practice habits. The rest of our discussion revolved around improving the latter. Imagine that.

==

Young Master James’ future remains a virgin green field.

And LAS Endorses …

(Plus the much anticipated Commentapalozza IV)

Halfway through the eleventh month of the eleventh year of the twenty first century, and LAS has arrived at his endorsement for the most important political nomination of LAS’ lifetime.

(Now switching from referring to myself in the third person to the more conventional first person pronoun)

As I confidently predicted in my November 7 post - She Said, He Said, They Said, We Said (Part 2) - the corrupt and cynical Leftist media assault on Herman Cain and his character did not crater his polling, and only increased his fundraising velocity.

So, I will be throwing my support to Newt Gingrich. This decision has nothing to do with the scurrilous and unfounded charges designed by his political enemies to make Mr. Cain go away (and utterly failing to do so). I believe Mr. Cain can and should still have a very prominent role in the new TEA Party infused GOP. But I’ve decided 45th President isn’t quite the right fit – because apparently boning up on foreign policy hasn’t been an important component of an otherwise commendable run. Maybe Vice President with a specialized portfolio that is something like Czar of Making Sure Political Correctness is Killed Done Dead Forever. The corrupt and biased MSM has certainly bestowed the necessary credentials, and motivation, with their rabid lynching of the man.

LAS arrived at this endorsement through deep and careful thought about who will make the best Not-Obama in the general election. I think I’ve already made clear the short answer is Not-Romney. But, the question has hung … which Not-Romney? What recommended Mr. Cain was his automatic disarming of the race card. Yet, as the scurrilous unhinged attacks on Mr. Cain’s character demonstrate, the GOP nominee will be facing what liberals like to label an “uneven playing field” in the biased press. The road to the White House for a GOP nominee goes through the televised debates with the incumbent, because that is the forum offering the most impactful opportunity to by-pass the media and influence the electorate directly. Think Reagan vs. Carter and “There you go again.”

Among the available options, the best debater in the room is far and away Newt Gingrich. Newt will most assuredly reduce the Empty Suit Known as Barack Hussein Obama to a babbling fool in any debate format not moderated by a teleprompter. Defeating the Empty Suit Known as Barack Hussein Obama in 2012 is simply paramount above all other considerations. For this reason, Newt Gingrich must be the GOP nominee. We can leave nothing to chance in 2012.

So, now that that’s settled, let’s move to the fourth installment of the Commentapalooza format – because at the end of the day, this all about me. The rules remain the same – comment board genius that has boomeranged back to me via Feedjit, aged ninety days or more.

==

LAS stoops to the lowest form of humor: word pun.

LAS recalls fond childhood memories.

Some people could learn a thing or two from Dead White Males.

The JAUL Gallery intersects Commentapalooza for the first time.

Politically Correct means never having to admit you're wrong.

Catchy Post Title, Bob.

With any luck, the Pentagon will be more influential in Egypt than the State Department has been.

Just can't shake that 'treasonous' hunch.

Footnote

Newt says “I’ll do anything I can to help defeat Obama.” Ring the bell and let's get it on!

The #Occupy Meltdown Will Be Swift and Ugly From Here

The light bulb just went on making it crystal clear to LAS that I must succinctly record my wholly impressionistic take regarding #Occupy, on this day, November 10, 2011.

By way of background - for my entire adult life, I have made a habit of getting up from my desk and occasionally walking around outside to clear my head.  It has been a useful technique whether the immediate surroundings have been urban, suburban, rural, or manicured.  Astute readers of this blog have certainly noticed Camp Stinky, McPherson Square has become a regular feature for me in the execution of this habit lately.

Today the feel was entirely different than it was just yesterday.  It was ... militant.  The so-called "media tent" was shuttered (as much as a structure consisting of aluminum poles and tarp can be) - and I clearly heard the sound of people arguing over strategy.  In that hushed voice "leaders" use when they don't want the minions to overhear.  I talked to the guy who looks like he's homeless, was leading the "people's microphone" chanting on day one, and spotted panhandling for bus fare to New York last week.  He was wearing one of those anarchist bandanas, acting nervously, recognized me, and made a point of pulling up the anarchist bandana while talking to me.  The guy who has been wearing the same set of US Army surplus fatigues from day one was nowhere in sight.  I suspect he was inside the media tent plotting next steps.  I've seen him there (in front of the "media tent") conferencing with others often.  The worst mom in the world was nowhere in sight, either.  Probably inside the "media tent," too.  I have judged her to be one of the leadership cabal.

The light bulb for this post finally went "on" as I've been consuming several reports from the field here in my comfortable capitalist confines (all are from today):


Portland #Occupy camp violence is building (this is just the latest of many Portland violence reports over the past days)

Ancient Diseases popping up in #Occupy Atlanta camp

Gunfire In Burlington, VT?  Vermont?

Hell, Even Kathy Lanier Gets It Now

==

The meltdown will be swift and ugly from here.  Good.  Let's be done with it.

Update 11/11/11

The final descent into total madness is off to a fast and furious start in the Oakland encampment.

Should be a wild ride for occupiers and the civil society alike, this weekend in Portland.

And apparently new diseases are being classified for medical science, thanks to the Zucotti Park squatters.

Meanwhile ... Barry is playing small ball lately with his "go-it-alone, 'We Can't Wait', we-don't-need-no-stinkin'-constitution governance." He's probably too busy getting ready to declare martial law when the occupier illegal squatter clearing operations are in full swing.

Update 11/12/11

And the Smart Ones De-Camp ... 

Update 11/13/11

The inevitable delayed while the civil society awaits the opportune moment to begin eviction operations ...  

Update 11/14/11

The civil society finally acts, and the aimless remain in the street, roaming rather than squatting.  

And the aftermath is a rat's paradise. Maybe that's what they meant by creating a new world.  

Nobody Gets Away With Blocking a Good 'Ol 'Merican Thanksgiving Parade.  

Update 11/15/11

About Damn Time.  

The Litigious Left steps in to legally defend "squatter's rights" - Bloomberg hasn't joined the lawsuit, yet (keep an eye on him).  

Update 11/16/11

Brace Yourself For the Temper Tantrum.  

Update 11/17/11

Initial indications are the bark is worse than the bite of the Aimless Mob of Malingering Malcontents.

A Funny Thing Happened On the Way To the Nomination

The only thing more breathlessly unhinged than a Leftist mob is a Ron Paul mob.



Late yesterday afternoon, I stumbled into a well written article on the Daily Caller site by a Ron Paul devotee named Jack Hunter. As anyone familiar with my intertubes genius would expect, I dropped a comment stating my position on some aspect of the article, with my standard signature linking back to my blogspot archive.

I briefly considered commenting on my agreement with the author that Herman Cain was wrong in his support of TARP. If we never bailed out the damn banks in the first place, we’d already be well into the recovery today – and without Leftist mobs in the streets demanding the bailout riches – which have all been paid back - be redistributed to them today (presumably for even more expensive tents).

I let it go though – because I know Herman Cain to be educable and pragmatic (meaning ‘practical’, not ‘unprincipled’) as an executive. I’ve seen him do it. Perhaps in a future post, I’ll explore why I find the sins of my other “not-Romney” favorite – Newt Gingrich – more egregious; i.e. falling for the Global Warming hoax and being slow off the mark embracing the TEA Party movement.

I chose instead to comment on the importance to get on with the primary process of finding the ‘not-Romney’ on principled grounds. As well as looking ahead to the possibility Romney can still win, and we may need to suck it up and be big boys come general election time. Which will mean embracing Romney as ‘not-Obama’ (with noses firmly held, of course).

==

Comment board chaos ensued. Frankly, I should have anticipated it, given who I was dealing with. But I failed to, and now I have to write this damned post. ;)

A swarm of Ron Paul devotees jumped on the thread to frantically push their man’s case. Some of the content, and the whole attitude of it, is entirely unhinged. You can read it for yourself.

The swarm failed to abate even after I told them to read my March 1, 2010 blogspot post for a comprehensive read designed to put the discussion to rest, and allow us to at least agree to disagree.

Actually, I should have anticipated this would be a fruitless offer. I suspect most of this swarm have never taken a breath from ranting long enough to read and comprehend that many words all at once.

The swarm still continues this morning. Trust me when I tell you I could make a game of causing it to continue as long as I cared to, inclusive of “endlessly.” Or in the spirit of Hunter S. Thompson, I can now simply report on my experience from the thick of the fight. At least having my character and motives mischaracterized, misunderstood, and smeared on a comment board is lighter duty than getting beat up by the Hell’s Angels (an actual HST episode).

==

The core problem with the Ron Paul mob is a wicked mix of two character defaults; a naiveté about how the world works, and a religiosity around their devotion to their candidate. This, as a matter of fact, if you replace the word “candidate” with “ideology,” is the same axis of character defects that makes Jihadis an existential threat to the planet, and Leftists an existential threat to the constitution.

She Said, He Said, They Said, We Said (Part 2)

* Yeah, I’ll get to Sharon Bialek, whoever the hell she is. And Gloria Allred, too - well known Leftist hack and media whore. But, first, I shall finish what I began drafting just yesterday.

Continued from Part 1 ...

What’s really going on here is an epic battle between forces I’ve labeled Team Liberty and Team Leftie. Team Liberty is the collection of institutions and people who believe in individual liberty. Team Leftie is the collection of institutions and people who believe in statism and collectivism. These two teams have been at odds and fighting an ideological war that has ebbed and flowed since about 1870 by LAS’ reckoning.

World War I and World War II were gigantic exercises in sorting out the two sides. In WW I, armies mostly belonging to Team Liberty scored a temporary victory against armies mostly belonging to Team Leftie – only to give rise to Team Leftie’s most virulent strains of the 20th century: the Fascism of Mussolini, National Socialism of Hitler, and Communism of Vladimir Lenin. In WW II, armies mostly belonging to Team Liberty scored a victory against two out of the three by making a military alliance of convenience with one of the three.

The Cold War then ensued. We (Team Liberty) won a huge victory when the Berlin wall fell and the half of Europe that had been occupied by Communist armies for 45 years was liberated.

American Progressives have always been with Team Leftie. Every step of the way. LAS recommends Jonah Goldberg’s excellent book – “Liberal Fascism: The Secret History of the American Left, From Mussolini to the Politics of Meaning” – as the summer vacation read that proves it.

==

Now to contemporary events …

One of Team Leftie’s own sits in the Oval Office today. One of their own is Senate Majority Leader. One of their own was Speaker of the House from 2007 until 2011, until We The People corrected that particular travesty in the historic election of 2010.

Team Leftie’s propaganda organ in modern America is the corrupt and biased main stream media (MSM). Period. End of sentence.

Team Leftie desires political power above all else. To the exclusion of all else. Team Leftie simply *must* have political power to impose their statist / collectivist central plans on everyone else. Every one of you. Team Leftie maintains its’ hold on political power with a corrupt narrative that includes such asinine memes as:

• To not be with them is to hate poor people
• To not be with them is to be racist
• If you are a minority, you must be with them, or your very survival is at stake

Team Leftie has become dimly aware that the Conservative Ascendancy, marked most spectacularly by the TEA Party movement, threatens their present hold on power in the soon to be historic election of 2012. Team Leftie must destroy Herman Cain, because Herman Cain’s very presence in the Presidential race destroys Team Leftie’s asinine narrative.

That is what is really happening here.

And That's The Bottom Line, Because LAS Said So!

(Sorry, couldn't resist the Stone Cold Steve Austin detour)

==

Now to Sharon Bialek. We need to find out what her politics are. If she is demonstrably on board with Team Leftie, then my contemporaneous reaction on the Gateway Pundit site stands - she is as likely a liar as a victim.

There is simply no need to even explore the hypocrisy angle Team Leftie gives us with one of their heroes – the one named William Jefferson Clinton. Because we on Team Liberty have standards – and if it can be credibly demonstrated Herman Cain has been serially lecherous, then we will be done with him.

The problem right now remains the credibility of the charges.

We already know Gloria Allred is deeply embedded inside Team Leftie. For a total destruction of her credibility, revisit this thirteen month old takedown by Mark Levin.




Since Sharon Bialek has chosen to hide behind Gloria Allred, well …

What else ya got, Team Leftie?

Update 11/8/11

The plot thickens. Bialek has participated in Republican politics. But she seems to be that most contemptible form of Republican - the gold digger. Rest assured the source of the truth here lies in motivations. We already know Politico's and Gloria Allred's motivation. They fear the candidacy of the principled conservative black man.

Game On. 

Without purporting to know what is presently unknowable as far the truth in this matter, and assuming no further shoes to drop, LAS predicts the "take no prisoners", "no quarter, no compromise," posture is in perfect tune with the times and bodes well for Mr. Cain's next round of polling and fundraising data.  We shall see.

She Said, He Said, They Said, We Said (Part 1)

* This was supposed to be a single post, divided into two movements; the first more “creative,” the second a straight up analysis of the epic battle now underway between Liberty and statism/collectivisim. I think instead I’ll throw it out there in two distinct posts. Enjoy the "creative" movement.

==

First, a musical break to set the stage … Train Kept a Rollin’ … The Cain Train, That Is!



==

She said something happened, but wouldn’t say her name;
He said nothing happened, maybe not so well;
They said it would make him go away;
We said ‘No way in Hell!’

==

On Sunday evening, October 30, 2011 a so-called news organization that calls itself “The Politico” - staffed entirely by Leftist hacks - broke a so-called “news” story designed to cripple the candidacy of the GOP Presidential candidate they fear most. I, LibertyAtStake, published my initial reaction for all the world to discover in the immediately subsequent days. Herewith is a small sample.

Monday morning at the Daily Caller.

Tuesday morning at Flopping Aces.

Man, I’m Good, Just Ask Me! (MIGJAM!)

==

And now, in accordance with the design of this blog project – after establishing my MIGJAM credentials in the heat of ideological battle with contemporaneously signed intertubes comments, and being able to retrieve them, just as future historians will be able to, I can now take a breath from the Lib media ‘Hack Train’ and take a deeper dive into the real meaning of the ‘Cain Train’ and the Lib media’s unhinged reaction to it.

==

To be continued …

Received From a Cable Communications Provider

Dear Comcast Customer:

On Wednesday, November 9 at 2 p.m. (Eastern Standard Time), FEMA and the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) will conduct the nation's first ever Emergency Alert System (EAS) test. The purpose of this test is to help determine if the national-level system will work as designed, should officials ever need to send a national alert.

This test will last approximately three minutes and will be seen on all local, cable, and satellite TV stations across the country, as well as radio.

Here's What You Should Know

Your Comcast programming will be temporarily interrupted. However, as soon as the test ends, you will be returned to your regularly scheduled programming. While we do not anticipate an interruption in your service, in some rare cases, you may need to:

• Use your remote to channel up and then channel down or power down your box to fully restore programming after the test completes.


• Any DVR recordings that are in progress during this test will be interrupted, and in some cases, lost.

If you experience the Emergency Alert System message for more than five minutes, please do the following:

• Power-cycle your cable box by unplugging the power cord from the outlet

• Wait thirty seconds and then plug it back in

==

And if it still doesn’t work, run around the block three times and then shoot the highest permanent structure you can see.

==

Some people think this is actually a dry run for the declaration of martial law by The Empty Suit Known as Barack Hussein Obama.

That may or may not be true (I give it even odds), but LAS knows one thing for sure: since it’s the first full scale test of a gub’ment developed application, there will be chaos somewhere in the system.

Try not to lose your head during this “unprecedented” exercise in nationally centralized command and control.

==

And, yeah, I will get to the Cain conspiracy soon.  I’ve processed enough credentialed news and commentary so far to know the post will cover unhinged MSM bias, unhinged Politically Correct litigiousness, there is no God-given right to avoid being made to feel ‘uncomfortable’, the public putting all of the aforementioned in focus, and this fresh poll:

Cain 26, Mr. Establishment 23, Newt 14.

Newton's Three Laws (Part 23)

A three part movement in the series soon to be known far and wide as the ‘Newtonian Predictive Model for Politics.’

Part 1: #OccupyFAIL

Lest we forget, one of the Left’s most decorated community agitators – Van Jones – warned us October 2011 would be something to remember.

Well, Mr. Jones apparently meant Team Leftie had a master plan in the works to mobilize recycled hippies and community organized zombies into tiny illegal encampments across the nation, under the banner #OccupyWhatever, or something.

Well, Halloween is fittingly just around the corner, and it’s now official: October 2011 has been something to rememebr.  But not in the way Mr. Jones intended. You can re-designate #OccupyWhatever as #OccupyFAIL. The recycled hippies and community organized zombies attracted to these illegal and unsanitary encampments have not impressed the civil society. The so-called ‘99 percenters’ have not prevented the civil society from moving along quite nicely with normal business, despite the tragic-comic presence here and there of their stone-age encampments.

And of course these encampments are predictably following the arc of human nature that goes from aimless, to restless, to criminal. The examples are coming in from places as far ranging as Boston, Dallas, and , yes, ground zero of Mr. Jones' revolution at WallStreet, Manhattan, New York, York.

The civil society has taken notice and is beginning to lose its’ patience. Restoration of law and order has begun in Oakland, Portland, and Atlanta, for example.

Memo to Mayor Bloomberg in New York, as well as whomever the hell has jurisdiction in DC: The longer you wait, the greater the health hazard to Police when the clearing operation are finally inevitable. It will be demanded by your constituents – that is, the people walking past these illegal encampments (holding their noses of course) to work, produce wealth, and pay taxes. Lest you forget, the taxes that fund your gub’ment.

I’ve already sent the memo to #occupydc, to prepare them for the inevitable. Based on what I’ve seen up close and personal, my advice here is as pearls are to swine.

Part 2: We Can’t Wait … To Throw More Public Money Down the Keynesian Rat Hole

And, of course, true to form – The Empty Suit That Seeks 2012 Re-election has hitched his wagon to this aimless, restless, and ultimately criminal rabble.

GLWT, Barry – you own it now! That smell you smell is your peeps. ROTFLMAO!

But, let’s give him credit for owning it through and through. The Empty Suit That Occasionally Occupies the Oval Office is traveling the country in campaign mode assenting to #OccupyFAIL demands.

With the new empty slogan “We Can’t Wait” – which roughly translated means “we have no qualms about abusing the powers of the executive branch and ignoring the constitution” - Barry is promising one redistributive giveaway after another to his so-called “base” – which can increasingly be identified as the national collection of whiny, selfish, entitled slackers.

Barry is promising a new bailout to keep the housing bubble pumped up. This is the same redistributive policy madness that created the very problem it assuredly will not solve. The Housing bubble was created by the meddling gub’mental arc that started with the Community Reinvestment Act, ran through Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, and Barney Frank’s committee chairmanship. Which was then aggravated and prolonged by the TARP scam and various other Obama admin re-financing programs like HARP, HAMP, and now whatever they are calling this new bundle of the same old sh*t. As the following chart demonstrates, these programs have only made things worse – as redistributive Keynesian nonsense always does. Whether Barry realizes the silly futility of the policy or not is beside point – for him. He has calculated, as the empty suited demagogue will, that there are votes to be bought with this cash giveaway.

Barry is also promising another new bailout to promote delinquency among over-educated pseudo-intellectuals. Barry’s motivation is the same here – the demagogue’s naked interest in bought votes. But LAS believes this particular gambit will backfire on Barry. LAS believes there are more votes to be lost (for Barry) from hard working blue collar Americans who rightfully won’t be able to fathom why anyone lucky enough to gain a college education should be allowed to go scot free on legal loan obligations – bailed out by taxpayers who may have never seen the inside of a college or university. This numb-nuts I’ve rolled into the post from my ‘Snark U.’ roll is the contemptible poster child.

Hey Dummy, Didn't You Do the Math Before Taking Out the Loan?

Hey, it’s tough for the class warrior to decide who to pit against whom. LAS predicts Barry will soon want a mulligan on this one.

Part 3: Report on the All Black Guy Running For President

Yes, we are talking about the candidacy of the man who will be the first all-black (both parents!) President in American history, should his candidacy come to a successful conclusion.

Astute readers of this blog have noticed two things for sure.

(1) I have mostly avoided getting into the thick of the GOP primary debate. This is because I’m prepared to vote for a #2 pencil over The Empty Suit Known as Barack Hussein Obama.

(2) I do have a sweet spot for Herman Cain. This is because I once had the privilege of working for him, and to this day he is far and away the best executive I’ve ever personally known.

And it seems the rest of America is beginning to like what it sees in Mr. Cain, as well. Improbably, despite running an unorthodox campaign, the Cain Train is roaring down the tracks as GOP primary poll leader.

Now, astute readers of this blog have surely noticed something else. LibertyAtStake licks no one’s boots. As such, I must chastise Mr. Cain for a very confusing policy message on the abortion issue. I, LibertyAtStake, shall now inform him how he needs to package his position on this matter – which coincidentally, is also mine.

“As a matter of personal morality, I am pro-life. Life begins at conception, period. As a matter of public policy, I am constitutionalist. The federal government has no place, pro or con, in matters of morality, period.”

Memo to social conservatives … this position requires the over -turn of Roe v Wade and de-funding of all federal support to abortion. What else do you want? If you lack faith in your ability to convince the civil society your moral position is good and necessary, without the blunt force of federal mandates, then you are doing ‘conservative’ all wrong.

Oh, did I mention I have bumper stickers (and other cool stuff) for sale?  Click the pic ...

Footnote

You need a scorecard to know who the players are ...

Updates 10/29/2011

LAS memo to Herman Cain ... You've got the name recognition, now you need to use the November debate run to get over this impression. Regarding your campaign, November 2011 is for all the marbles. Come out of November with the 'policy weakling' charge defused, and it's clear sailing from there. Be prepared for the attacks and 'gotcha' questions.

Daily Caller and Heritage Foundation are both in agreement with LAS that the student loan cash giveaway will backfire on Barry politically.

The original post was supposed to be a four part movement.  The fourth part was to be We Can't Wait ... To Cede the Mideast To the Islamists - lampooning Barry and Hillary's comically ad-hoc interventionist foreign policy during the so-called 'Arab Spring.'  But I ran ("I ran" - get it?) out of time and energy.  The Daily Caller nicely covers that angle here.


Update 10/31/2011

Some scholarly research into the at least 17 year old root cause of what is vexing the #OccupyFAIL mob. Hint: It ain’t “Wall Street.”

And, yeah, I'll get to the Left's scurrilous attack on Herman Cain in due time.  But I think I’ll wait until it’s even obvious to Karl Rove it is redounding to Cain’s benefit.  It should only be a couple of days for the poll evidence to start rolling in.

Update 11/02/2011

LAS expects this Daily Caller report will prove to be the pivot point in the 'Great GOP/NRA Kinda Sorta Sex - Even Though There Wasn't Actually Any Sex - Scandal'

The New Journolisters: Spinning the Unspinnable Edition

(AP) – Jack Wiley Dithers reporting.

When last we checked in on the New Journolisters, they were engaged in an erudite live analysis on election night 2010, courtesy of a chat room service hosted by National Public Radio (NPR). Shortly after our coverage, the NPR hosted chat room was shut down, and we lost track of the New Journolisters.

Recently, however, the New Journolisters and our cracker-jack investigative journalism team stumbled into one another again. It seems the New Journolisters are chatting it up again – on a server belonging to Obama For America (OFA). What they didn’t know is we have placed an entry level IT geek on the OFA staff, who is willing to do our bidding for a limitless supply of free Xbox games.

Herewith is a recent discussion thread.

==

Ezra Klein: A principled conservative black man is now the GOP primary front runner. This could be an absolute disaster.

Joe Klein: If we lose the black community our only captive constituencies will be ditzy pseudo-socialites, overeducated pseudo-intellectuals, and illegals. Ideas?

Spencer Ackerman: Smash him through a plate glass window!

David Wiegel: Lynch the teabagging race traitor!

 Jeffrey Toobin: Come on, guys, this is serious. Cain has a real tax reform plan. With details we can attack. A real tactical mistake on his part. Let’s get to work.

Jonathan Cohn: Let’s mock the 9-9-9 as 6-6-6. That should get under the skin of the religious right.

Paul Krugman: I ran some calculations and 6-6-6 is actually a lower effective tax rate than 9-9-9. This line of attack might backfire because it could become popular with the public.

David Brooks: I looked up his educational credentials on the Internet. Nothing from the Ivy League – we need to tar him as not belonging to the educated class.

Eugene Robinson: No, better to attack him as not really black.

Maureen Dowd: That might backfire too. Unlike Obama, both of Cain’s parents are really black.

Joe Klein: I think we’re stuck on this one, let’s move on to something else and come back to this later.

Ezra Klein: Good idea fake dad (/sarc). What can we do to pump up OccupyWallStreet?

Spencer Ackerman: We should arrange to have an occupier jump through a plate glass window, and blame the cops.

David Wiegel: No, blame a teabagger! Sarah Palin!

Jeffrey Toobin: Has anybody actually gone down there and talked to somebody?

Maureen Dowd: Ick!

Eugene Robinson: Too many white people. It scares me.

David Brooks: I haven’t seen a single photo of anybody with a decent pants crease. No way I’m talking to anybody that looks like that.

Edward T. Hall III: Help us!

Joe Klein: We need to move on, folks.

Ezra Klein: How do we help defuse the ‘Fast and Furious’ scandal?

Spencer Ackerman: Smash Darrell Issa through a plate glass window!

David Wiegel: Claim we can trace all the guns to Sarah Palin's church!

Eugene Robinson: Spin Issa as a racist for investigating Eric Holder.

Jonathan Cohn: Spin Issa as homophobic for not investigating Barney Frank.

Maureen Dowd: Spin Issa as misogynistic for not investigating Nancy Pelosi.

David Brooks: I found out from the Internet that Issa dropped out of high school. Let’s take the educated class angle.

Paul Krugman: Easy! It was just stimulus for Mexico. It would have worked if we had only spent more!

Mr. Soros: Damn it! I’m shutting this thing down right now!

BREAKING: LibertyAtStake Opens Online Store

(AP ) - Jack Wiley Dithers Reporting.

Our cracker-jack investigative journalism team learned today the conservative blogger known as LibertyAtStake has opened an online store to peddle cheap merchandise for profit. One of our investigators was moonlighting as a grounds keeper at the Cameron Run Regional Park miniature golf course in Alexandria, VA – when he overheard LAS say to his son “soon we join the one percent, boy.” This investigator, obviously with a well-tuned ear, contacted me immediately via mobile telephonic device, and I quickly leapt at the opportunity. I contacted our mutual friend Francis Charles Hamilton via landline (the anachronistic bastard), and I thusly discovered LAS’ whereabouts this week. Armed with this knowledge, I was able to arrange an interview with LAS.

==

[begin: interview]

JWD: So, why did you decide to monetize the blog?
LAS: What, do you think I’m doing this for my health? Do you think this is some kind of socialist utopia, or something?

JWD: Oh, I see you’re in a crappy mood tonight. Let’s just do the interview, OK?
LAS: Alright.

JWD: Why did you choose CafePress as the online store service?
LAS: Well, I test drove Zazzle and CafePress. It was a quick decision for me … quite simply, the CafePress user experience was a lot better. Either I was drunk test driving Zazzle, and sober test driving CafePress – or CafePress really is better. Either way, CafePress works for me.

JWD: What do you have on the online store?
LAS: A lot of cheap crap with my branding.

JWD: What the hell is wrong with you tonight?
LAS: Let’s just do the interview, OK?

JWD: Have you previously sought revenue with the blog project?
LAS: Well, quite awhile ago I installed a PayPal tip jar bleg. But none of my readers hit it. The tight bastards. So, I figured maybe some of them would part with a couple sheckles if they got a cheap tee-shirt out of the deal.

JWD: Do you have any complaints about CafePress? As if ..
LAS: Well, yeah! I filled in my shopkeeper bio - all complete and everything - LinkedIn, Facebook, Blogspot - you name it. I even clicked that sidebar inclusion checkbox thingee. Still can't see the bio in the online store. It's really pissing me off.

JWD: Uhhhh … Why is your blog so awesome?
LAS: Oh, I see you’ve finally gotten to the list of interview questions I faxed you. And look, I’m already late for my next appointment. You’ve wasted my time again, Dithers.

[end: interview]

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Click here for LAS’ awesome new online store.

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Update 10/16/2011

9:07 pm

Just seen on the Daily Caller site.  LAS hopes (assumes) CafePress's intentions are pure.