Meet the Teachers

If you are a parent of school-age children, you know the drill. Rows of educational professionals, apparently arranged in something resembling alphabetical order, sit behind folding tables in a gymnasium or cafeteria, awaiting conferences with parents eager to ensure their progeny receive the instruction from said professionals said progeny deserve, to lock in that wildly successful future said progeny are entitled to.

The lines of parents willing to occupy folding chairs set up in front of the aforementioned folding tables begin to form. In this case, the school is a public school balkanized between “honors” (mostly the progeny of two parent families from the east side of the tracks) and “general ed” (mostly the progeny of broken families from the west side of the tracks). Take a wild guess which educational professionals had dozens lined up and which had nearly none.

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The Mathematics teacher with a habit of assigning homework before teaching the material said everything was cool with Young Master James except for a tendency to hand in homework late. Go figure.

I thought I smelled alcohol on the US History teacher’s breath. I could be wrong because he seemed perfectly in control of his wits. He’s a young man still.

The Environmental Science teacher – an old man who Young Master James reports is a Global Warming denier – had to look up the computer record to remember who Young Master James is. His eyes brightened when the record came up, and it informed him who Young Master James is. He then kicked off the discussion complimenting Young Master James on his punctuality and good manners. Yep, he’s a conservative.

The Art Foundations teacher said everything was cool with Young Master James, except she wished he tried harder to reach his real potential. Imagine that.

The Band teacher reported Young Master James has been promoted to first chair trumpet, but asked about his practice habits. The rest of our discussion revolved around improving the latter. Imagine that.

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Young Master James’ future remains a virgin green field.