My Mossad contact has provided me with a transcript of the private meeting between Barack Obama and Benjamin Netanyahu on Friday, May 20, 2011. I have no knowledge of how he acquired it. And if questioned under oath, I will plead Fifth Amendment privilege. Our staff of highly trained Analyzers have authenticated the source material.
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Netanyahu: “What the hell were you thinking? 1967? Really?”
Obama: “Valerie told me that’s what you agreed to.”
Netanyahu: “Who’s Valerie?”
Obama: “My advisor.”
Netanyahu: “If she’s advising you on Israel, why haven’t I heard of her?”
Obama: “I dunno. Let’s get her in here right now. She’ll show you.”
{intercom comes on}
Obama: “David. David?”
Unidentified voice: “This is Monica, David’s intern.”
Obama: “Where’s David?”
Unidentified voice: “Ummmm….temporarily indisposed, sir. May I assist?”
Obama: “Please summon Valerie Jarrett to the Oval Office, please.”
Unidentified voice: “Sir, remember? She’s delivering the keynote to the Socialist Workers Collective Union Party Conference today.”
Obama: “Ah yes.”
{intercom off}
Netanyahu: “Good God, it’s worse than I thought. OK, Barry, listen up and listen good …”
Obama: “How dare you address …”
Netanyahu: “Cut the crap N.W.O. boy! I need to make lunch with Eric Cantor. If you make me late to that, then I’ll really be pissed. Now, here’s the deal – if you didn’t know it before, know it now and know it good … we define our borders, right of return is a dead letter, and no way in hell is Jerusalem ever going to be divided again.
Obama: “Hey, I think we can negotiate here, Bibi”
Netanyahu: “That’s ‘Prime Minister’ to you N.W.O. boy. Listen, I don’t care what you say to save face. Just as long as you make two points to AIPAC on Sunday, and I’ll take it from there. Number one – the negotiation is strictly bi-lateral, got it?”
Obama: “What’s Kevin Jennings got to do with this?”
Netanyahu: {sigh} “That means no U.N. role – strictly between Israel and Palestine. Number two – There is no negotiation until the Palestinians formally recognize Israel’s right to exist. Got it?”
Obama: “I’ll get Valerie on it right away.”
Netanyahu: {sigh} “I’ll be watching on Fox. Don’t screw this up.”
Obama: “And if I don’t?”
Netanyahu: “Mossad? Pictures? You, Soros, Ayers, Riviera, Speedos?”
Obama: “Oh.”
Footnotes
Inspired by (pictures clickable) ….
… and …
Update 5/25/11
