(AP) – Jack Wiley Dithers reporting.
I ran into my old friend LibertyAtStake on Black Friday at a local Best Buy. We were unable to have much of a conversation shouting at one another across the frenzied mob, but we were able to arrange an appointment for that evening - to raid the liquor cabinet of our mutual friend Francis Charles Hamilton, Doctor of Pontification. Dr. Hamilton is out of the country on business - but we had a spare key to his manor made last year. What the doctor doesn’t know won’t hurt him. LAS agreed to do an interview because he needed the publicity for his blog and I asked for it because I had a deadline coming up.
JWD: So what were you doing out on Black Friday? You always hated shopping in general.
LAS: I was people watching. The only thing comes that close to the chaotic slapstick of a Black Friday crowd is a Leftist street mob. What were you doing out there?
JWD: My son wanted that new X-Box thing.
LAS: You really need to get that pasty-face couch-potato out of the basement. Get him to join the Boy Scouts, or a sport, or something.
JWD: He’s not gay!
LAS: Man, you really are on a hair trigger with the gay son anxiety. Have another drink, relax, dude.
JWD: Let’s just do the interview.
LAS: OK, grumpy pants.
JWD: Has the blog brought in revenue?
LAS: Not one thin dime. I should have pretended to be a Leftist blogger. Those zombies are constantly flocking to this or that counter culture flavor of the week. After two years, I surely would have hit bingo! and made my mint selling idiotic tee shirts to those zombies. But, noooooooooooooooooo – I had to become a conservative, and blog in the conservative blogosphere. What a bunch of tight bastards. They actually seem to care about how they spend their own money.
JWD: So, will you be continuing the blog?
LAS: Of course. The helicopter fly-overs are telling me I’m living rent free inside the Empty Suit’s head. There’s no telling when he’ll snap and mention LAS by name at the podium. Then I’ll move some tee shirts, you’ll see.
JWD: Uhhhh, yeah …. Let me pour you another drink.
JWD: How are your traffic numbers?
LAS: Steady at barely measurable.
JWD: That’s why you’re not selling tee shirts, genius.
LAS: Is this going to be a hostile interview? You need to meet your deadline more than I need the so-called publicity from that rag of yours nobody reads.
JWD: Best recent development?
LAS: I recently picked up a regular troll. And you know what kind of street cred that brings. Her screen name is Ema Nymton. I’ve profiled her based on her rantings. Full time academician. Entered academia as an affirmative action scholarship student. Got teaching tenure based solely on her demographics. Teaches something totally useless in the humanities. Published, highly credentialed, and dumb as a brick. Good foil. I hope she’s not insulted by the profile and comes back often.
JWD: You must be honored.
JWD: Will you be continuing the Newton’s Three Laws series of posts? I, mean, 23 chapters already. Really?
LAS: Probably not – since you put it that way, snarky bastard.
JWD: How about Stupid or Treasonous?
LAS: Always on an as needed basis. You never know when the Empty Suit will step on his crank big time.
LAS: Now, that one has some real long term potential. It could provide the “Rosetta Stone” to understanding Leftist drivel. Who knows, I could get a tenured position teaching it when it catches on. Three squares a day, cushy office on a neatly manicured campus, with no possibility of ever being fired. Not bad.
JWD: How would you compare your 2010 archive to your 2011 archive?
LAS: I think I was a better writer in 2010, but a better blogger in 2011.
JWD: What the hell does that mean?
LAS: I’m not sure, but it sounds good.
JWD: How has the site itself evolved from 2010 to 2011?
LAS: Well, for one thing, at the beginning of this year I was treating the Assigned Reading List like a roll – pruning things off after they aged two weeks or so. Then in March I think it was – I had real forehead slapping DUH! moment - and I stopped doing that. By next November it should be recognized as THE ‘Cliff Notes’ on why the Empty Suit Known as Barack Hussein Obama doesn’t deserve a 2nd term.
JWD: What else?
LAS: I also inaugurated the Just Another Unhinged Leftie (JAUL) aggregation. By next November it ought to be the best virtual presentation of Leftist mobbery this side of Berkeley.
JWD: Clever devil. How is the aggregation accomplished?
LAS: I just add one extra line to my standardized signature.
J.A.U.L. (pronounced “jowl”): Just Another Unhinged Leftie.
“Because the Only Good Progressive is a Failed Progressive”
JWD: Yeah, about that signature thing … has it ruffled any feathers?
LAS: A few. But I couldn’t care less. 2012 is for all the marbles. Plus I think Disqus is using it now to aggregate a comment archive from all over the Intertubes. The count is currently well over 4000. How cool is that?
JWD: Yet you still use Intense Debate to moderate your blog?
LAS: Well, I made that decision before I noticed Disqus’ aggregation. And I am a conservative – not going to fix what ain’t broken without a really good reason.
JWD: Plans for 2012?
LAS: Don’t try to fix what ain’t broken.