I recently had a very interesting evening dialogue at the well-appointed home of the smartest man I know – Dr. Francis Charles Hamilton. The transcript, drawn from my own fuzzy memory, is as follows.
LAS: You’ve outdone yourself this evening, perfesser. Boiled shrimp. What, did it take five whole seconds to transfer from the freezer to the pot?
FCH: I wish to reveal something important, something powerful, to you, padawan. This knowledge must be handled with great care and very responsibly. I have decided you can put it to good use on that blog thing of yours.
FCH: Don’t be silly. This is charity. It’s too good to keep out of the public eye – but if I gave it to Dithers he would destroy the time space continuum within 30 seconds of receiving the knowledge.
FCH: No, the machine only goes forward. But let me get to my point. Last night I rode the machine to the 2012 Republican convention. I helped Dithers write his bylines, here’s a sample.
GOP Convention Opens With No Candidate Owning Simple Delegate Majority
Ron Paul Throws Delegates to Romney – Half Walk Out and Join OWS Protestors Outside
4th Ballot: Romney / Paul Coalition Still Lacks Simple Majority
Gingrich Throws Delegates to Santorum – Hall Erupts Into Shocked ‘Why, Newt, Why?’ Chant
8th Ballot Shows Not Enough Newt Delegates Switch to Push Santorum Over the Top
Historic Acceptance Speeches Bring Party to Extended Standing Ovations
Palin / Rubio Ticket Hits Campaign Trail
FCH: That’s it. The machine has an average battery run time of 30 minutes and a battery recharge time of six months. It’s designed to run on algae, you see.