(AP) – Jack Wiley Dithers reporting.
Our cracker-jack investigative journalism team is unable to take part in this week’s journalistic scrum over WikiLeaks. You see, our sources at the Pentagon are busy chasing down the treasonous bastard responsible for leaking the documents, and there is a lot of running room and a lot of places to hide in the Pentagon, so it could take a while. We will report on the slow and painful death meted out to the treasonous bastard as soon as it occurs.
Instead, our sources at CNN have something for us to put into “context” the now famous beat down Ann Coulter gave to Rick Sanchez on his show last week. They have provided us with off-air audio tape from both before and after the beat down.
==
{Ann Coulter enters CNN “Green Room”}
Coulter: Hmmmm, only crumbs in the peanut bowl. Bob Beckel must have just been here.
CNN minion #1: Welcome, Ms. Coulter. Is there anything we can do for you?
Coulter: No, I’ll just relax until I’m on with Rick. What are we talking about again?
CNN minion #1: That Diary book thing, of course. It went to #1 on the Times Bestseller list today. Congratulations.
Coulter: Uhhhhh, I think you meant to call Laura Ingraham.
CNN minion #1: Oh, oh, I better go find Mr. Sanchez!
==
{Rick Sanchez enters his personal dressing room}
Sanchez: Man I’m great, just ask me.
CNN minion #2: I’m askin’!
Sanchez: The hair helmet needs some attention.
{five minutes of Sanchez lightly humming and singing the chorus to “Everybody Loves Me”}
Sanchez: That hair right there …
CNN minion #2: Got it. Perfect, Mr. Sanchez. Man, you're great, just ask me.
Sanchez: You know I will.
{Sound of door opening}
CNN minion #1: Rick, Rick, Rick, wrong blonde wing nut!
Sanchez: Huh?
CNN minion #1: Coulter didn’t write the book! It was Abraham, Beckham, Oh I don’t know!
Sanchez: Shit! It was Ingerhamm. Damn speed dial. Get me the smart guy!
{20 seconds of silence}
Sanchez: The guy who does opposition research watching Fox all day!
CNN minion #2: Oh. Yes, right away, sir!
==
==
Sanchez: She thinks she’s so smart!
CNN minion #3: That kiddie porn stuff was so out of line.
Sanchez: Never speak of that again!
CNN minion #3: [sounding cowed] Yes, sir.
Sanchez: {mutters something under breath}
{sound of something slamming down}
==
Coulter: Hey, can I get somebody to validate my parking?
Jack Wiley Dithers reporting.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
The MIGJAM Tapes
2010-07-27T21:36:00-04:00
LibertyAtStake
Fun|MSM|
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