So, you’ve stumbled onto my humble little blog. Perhaps you are a Millenial wondering why most of your friends aren’t fully employed. Or wondering why ObamaKare is being shoved down your throat. Or why your generation is on the hook for a national debt that stands at $17 $18 Trillion and counting. Maybe you are scratching your head wondering why your President thinks Global Warming the weather is more worrisome than Islamic Terror. And perhaps you’ve started to become aware there might be something the corrupt and biased lame stream media isn’t telling you. The answer, to these and other existential questions, is ... the Left - specifically, the modern American Progressive. Think of this site as a portal to a richer understanding of this answer, a portal purposely designed with a consciously cock-eyed bent to keep it entertaining. Because the First Amendment is forever and the Internet never forgets. (Plus you better figure out FICA isn't the name of a Swedish bikini model, before she eats your entire paycheck.)

How to use the portal? You could dive into my archive*. I was most active here 2010-2012, but that matters not. How many times do I need to demonstrate the central point? To wit, the political / ideological Left is a menace to the constitutional republic and must be resisted lest the American experiment in liberty devolve into socialist dystopia. If it's the more pointed hand-to-hand combat of the comment board that whets your appetite, click the 'My Disqus Comments' widget. I continue to visit that world from time to time as a light diversion. Or you could browse through my blog roll. It's a very representative collection of center-right blogs, though hardly exhaustive. I can't do the political / ideology thing 24x7, and you probably can't either. Leave that to the hysterical, talking point chanting, mob agitating, race baiting, election stealing, gaia worshiping, straw man torching, Islamic Terrorist appeasing, organized Left (aka OFA, MSNBC, UAW, SEIU, Think Progress, Media Matters, most of legacy media, the politically correct faculty lounge, anybody who belonged to Journolist, anybody connected to Occupy Wall Street, anything funded by George Soros or Tom Steyer, their paid Internet trolls, and the rest of the usual Team Leftie suspects).


*Re-posting encouraged. No need to ask for permission. Just follow the commonly accepted convention of acknowledging this site as original source with a link back. That way, you leave the asking for forgiveness to me.

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Thursday, June 17, 2010

PRESIDENT APPOINTS CLEANUP TASK FORCE CHIEF

(AP) – Jack Wiley Dithers reporting.


Today, President Obama announced in the Rose Garden that Czar of Homeland Justice Richard B. Cheney will lead a newly formed task force to clean up the mess in the Gulf.

Holding the door for Mr. Cheney as they entered the Rose Garden, the President’s attire and coif appeared a bit mussed. On his way to the podium, Mr. Obama looked at ABC News correspondent Jake Tapper and said “No questions today, Helen.”

Mr. Obama was uncharacteristically brief and contrite in his remarks while introducing Mr. Cheney. Mr. Obama told the press pool, "What this crisis needs is a straight shooter. And nobody shoots like the Czar of Homeland Justice." He went on to say "I have deputized the Czar of Homeland Justice to do - and let me be clear, I mean DO - whatever it takes to clean up the mess in the Gulf."

Mr. Cheney then strode up to the podium like a colossus, and began speaking. He was characteristically brief and direct. He said his first order of business was to determine whose ass to kick, and that he had already checked that one off. Mr. Obama was looking at his shoes while Mr. Cheney made this point.

The Czar of Homeland Justice said he had already made four phone calls while Mr. Obama was sitting there.

The first was to Nobel Prize Winning physicist Steven F. Chu, instructing him to stay at home and watch the news on television.

The second was to his administrative assistant, instructing her to initiate the call tree to every head of state willing to send a skimmer ship to help.

The Czar of Homeland Justice then said his third phone call was to ‘whoever the hell is running the Army Corps of Engineers today, and I told her to get some damn shovels out there to build those damn berms Bobby has been screaming about.’

He also announced that one week from today, he will chair an open forum, at the New Orleans Hilton, where anyone with an innovative idea for picking up oil off the water or beaches can present their ideas. He said his fourth phone call was to BP CEO Tony Hayward clearing the agreement BP will expense all submitted travel and lodging expenses.

Effective immediately, any Gulf Coast resident claiming to have lost their means of living can enlist in the new Czar of Homeland Justice Gulf Clean Up Corps. Each enlistee will be compensated weekly at the equivalent salary rate of a GS-15 salaried federal employee. Each of these enlistments will be matched by an indefinite furlough of a Washington-based GS-15 for as long as the cleanup takes – making the program deficit neutral.

Mr. Cheney looked over at Mr. Obama, both men nodded, and Mr. Obama went over to hold the door open for Mr. Cheney, and the press pool was left murmuring to itself.

Jack Wiley Dithers reporting.
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4 comments:

  1. "Mr. Obama was looking at his shoes while Mr. Cheney made this point."

    "...and Mr. Obama went over to hold the door open for Mr. Cheney"

    I dream for a day like this...

    ReplyDelete
  2. @Jethro: Ah, but its already here. The pseudo-intellectual rantings of this New York Times Obama boot-licker proves it.

    http://opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/06/13/the-very-angry-tea-party/

    ReplyDelete
  3. Are we in Russia with a Czar taking command? Obama is in real trouble & it's only going to get worse. After 57+ days he is now going to 'officially' get someone to do something? This is leadership of the most powerful country in the world?

    People are just tired of politicians & both political parties. Decades-old politicians & inept government is uniting the people.

    Finally, there's a book out where a small town in America stands up to federal tyranny. It's great cause it seems to fit the times right now.
    www.booksbyoliver.com

    ReplyDelete
  4. @anonymous: You do know the piece is satire, right? Just checking.

    ReplyDelete

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