(AP) - Jack Wiley Dithers Reporting
Our cracker-jack investigative journalism team has acquired a copy of the Super Secret Double Secure Monthly Meeting Minutes of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy (VRWC), which some knucklehead left on an unsecure file server with anonymous permissions enabled. This document will clear the heroic Progressive Congressman from New York with the unfortunately ironic screen name, RepWeiner. The VRWC meeting attendees used their Intertubes screen names, as is their usual practice.
SUPER SECRET DOUBLE SECURE MONTHLY MEETING
Friday May 27, 2011
Taken By: HillsdaleIntern
** BURN AFTER READING **
LibertyAtStake began the meeting by stating what the VRWC needed right now was a distraction from Obama's recovering economy. All present agreed entirely with this brilliant political analysis.
GayPatriot stated he had a picture of his willy in grey tighty-whiteys. After an awkward pause, MrBreitbart stated he thought we could use that.
MrBreitbart explained there was a Democrat Congressman from New York with the last name Weiner. MrBreitbart also explained this Congressman Weiner is an unfettered user of social media systems, often using the alias RepWeiner. Manna from Heaven.
After some group brainstorming, IowaHawk outlined a plan for simultaneously hacking the RepWeiner Twitter account, RepWeiner yfrog account, and (the true genius) TweetCongress.org. DougRoss said his second cousin worked as a developer at Twitter, and he could get him on it right away. AngryWhiteDude (AWD) grumbled something about despising amphibians, before explaining one of his shooting range buddies had venture capital riding inside yfrog - which could use the publicity. The problem was AWD had already lowered the "ban hammer" on this person on the AWD site. The group encouraged AWD to talk to his shooting buddy about making peace and incentivizing a developer at yfrog. LibertyAtStake looked up from what he called his "damn blackberry" long enough to say he knew a guy at TweetCongress.org that owed him a favor.
WilliamTeach stated he had a number of shirtless camera phone photos of himself, strictly for the research purposes, mind you - that could easily be photoshopped with RepWeiner's face. He was certain RepWeiner's face on his body was a good photoshop fit. No one asked for additional details.
MrBreitbart said, "Great, we will need to leak one photo a day." Group discussion made clear to all this was the best way to trap the quarry into being caught in a drawn out series of lies.
TheLonelyConservative asked "what if RepWeiner contacts the FBI?" LibertyAtStake said he would simply activate the guy at FBI who owes him a favor, in the event it was needed.
TheWarPlanner wondered out loud how we could be sure the criminally biased MSM wouldn't uncover our plot. The entire room erupted in laughter and moved on.
MrBreitbart observed what we needed to complete the plan was several young fetching females willing to lie in full accordance with the set up. LeftCoastRebel said he knew a conservative beach volleyball club with some spare time on its' hands.
MrBreitbart volunteered to be primary manager for daily plan execution.
Woodsterman woke up from his nap and vowed to forward the brilliant plan for immediate release with the next Newsbusters video.
(AP) - Jack Wiley Dithers Reporting
Only one day since we have broken this blockbuster revelation, and the conspiracy theory is gaining momentum. It won't be long before I'm stroking my Pulitzer ...
The nefarious hacking plot now extends to several other esteemed members of Congress. AngryWhiteDude's shooting range buddy's mole at yfrog appears to be very, very, very incentivized. What's next?
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