Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Ladies and Gentlemen of the GOP Establishment,
I hope you are not secretly thinking about TEA Party Patriots the way Dean Wormer was thinking about Delta House in the previous clip. If you are, it will mean the end of your party. Don’t be under any delusion 2010 was your party’s mandate - anymore than 2008 was the donkey party’s mandate. Now, I, LibertyAtStake, as the self-appointed spokesman for We The People, will explain further.
You see, We The People took your hand in a political marriage of convenience for one reason only – there just wasn’t sufficient time to form a brand new third party for the urgent mission of saving the republic from the abuses of BHO and the Progressives.
We took this decision reluctantly – because we remember it was you perpetual losers who allowed those contemptible, anti-liberty, anti-capitalist, secular humanist, redistributionist, apology touring, Mao worshiping, Alinsky following Statists to rise to power in the first place. As far as we’re concerned, it is you perpetual losers who are on double (not so) secret probation. If you perform according to our playbook over the next two years, we’ll consider giving you a little more leash. If not, expect to see a new political party on the horizon. (I still like “Constitutionalist” for its' name.)
You see, we only accepted your hand in political marriage because time was of the essence. Time was of the essence because you guys somehow figured out a way to lose to a demagogue with no experience, no qualifications, no understanding of America, and no policy ideas beyond an idiotic slogan. We had no choice but to commandeer your empty husk of a political operation. Every single one of you should be on a “Thank You” note writing campaign right now, expressing gratitude for us giving you one more shot. And, believe me, it is only one more shot.
Because time was of the essence, we had no choice but to primary the least principled among you. Mike Castle is probably a decent man - it’s just that he’s a disaster for the republic right now. So we had to take him out. It’s business, that’s all. Similarly, Lisa Murkowski is a disaster for the republic. However, her refusal to accept the results of the primary certainly shows she has a less developed sense of decency than Mr. Castle. And that Charlie Crist weasel … well let’s just never speak of him again.
You see, ladies and gentlemen of the entrenched GOP, we haven’t forgotten your piss poor performance from 2000-2006. And I’m not talking about George W. Bush. He was simply a decent man doing the best he could with a historical and monumental situation (9/11). And history will show he did alright - you can take that to the nearest bank that hasn’t been nationalized yet.
No, I’m talking about the spending, dummies. Yeah, sure- Bush 43 (and his designated in-house genius, Rove) – were “compassionate conservatives” and all that crap – but you were the ones who lost Congress in 2006, then handed Legislative branch supermajorities, as well as the entire Executive branch, to Leftist lunatics in 2008. Do you want to know why? The answer is: your profligate hand-over-fist spending gave the American people no fundamental reason to distinguish you from the corrupt Progressive gang that hijacked the donkey party a generation ago. So, you are still born losers as far as We The People are concerned – but the kind of losers that still have a shot at salvation under double-not-so-secret-probation. We The People are nothing if not patient with slow learners.
Don’t get me wrong – we do appreciate your playing effective defense in the first half of the first Reign of the Empty Suit that would be Emperor. The problem is we had to spend all that time treasure traveling to your front lawn on the Capitol to ensure the outcome, and we haven’t received our reimbursement checks yet. That’s a bit of a sticking point right now.
We took the People’s House in this cycle, in precise accordance with the Founders’ design of the House of Representatives as a firewall against executive demagoguery. The Senate gains for We The People were also quite extraordinary, given its’ design by the Founders as a firewall against runaway popular will. (We thank God for this design, the filibuster rule, and its’ mitigation against the disastrous electoral results of 2008.) That’s why we told you the House could be rescued in one cycle, but the Senate was probably a two cycle deal. But we sure gave it a hell of a run in the Senate, didn’t we? We intend to complete the civil revolt in 2012. We will have the House and the Senate in 2012, with you or without you. We will ensure a principled conservative gains residency at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, whether they carry your label or the one we create between now and then. Resistance is futile.
We have entered a historic turning point moment. In such moments, stark contrasts matter. If you, ladies and gentlemen of the entrenched GOP, wish to survive as a viable political party, you need to embrace the distinctions with BHO and the Progressives, not the “common ground” crap the professional politicos will advise you to seek.
So, here’s a few specific tips for keeping this marriage together.
Make sure BHO and the Progressives get nothing, and I mean nothing, in the lame duck session. The refudiation they received at the polls makes everything remaining on their wish list illegitimate. A couple more months of defense isn’t too much to ask. January we go on offense together.
The agenda for the 112th is:
Not one red cent in federal “revenue” increases until every single option on the spending side of the equation is exhausted. We’ll let you know when that is. An immediate return to 2008 levels for the federal budget, federal salaries, and federal work force headcount will be a good step in the right direction.
The momentum you are building for banning earmarks is also a very good start. Some of you may argue it’s mainly symbolic - but symbolism matters a lot in times like these. (Besides, it’s really not just symbolic - the practice is a major contributor to the “log rolling” that quickly leads to every elected Tom, Dick, and Harry becoming the Peter that robs Paul, even after Paul’s pockets have been emptied. Then somebody with a name minted by the Ming Dynasty has to cover it.)
Symbolism also matters when it comes to associations. Just ask Radical Associations Barry. We The People really don’t like it when a professional politician fails to respect our will in the primary process. Therefore, we will be watching closely how you treat the ambitious Ms. Murkowski if she pulls it out in Alaska. If she does, we expect to see her sitting at the children’s table for the next six years.
Do everything, and I mean everything, in your power to effect the repeal of ObamaCare. Yeah, yeah, we know you probably won’t be able to override the inevitable vetoes. But we insist on getting everybody up there, and we mean everybody, on record for 2012. In the meantime, use the Appropriations Committee to starve the ObamaCare beast. By the way, we’re not so sure that Jerry Lewis guy is up to the fight as Appropriations Chairman. After all, he did preside over the 2000-2006 GOP spending binge. Maybe he should write us a memo, like Energy Committee hopeful Fred Upton did. (btw - Upton needs to add repeal of the CFL lighting mandate to show his bona fides.)
Come on, do it for the kids’ sake. Have you looked at their savings account lately? If that’s not enough motivation, then do it for your own political survival. We’d hate to have to end this marriage too abruptly.
I forgot to mention one other non-negotiable for We The People in the 112th. Keep Chairman Darrell Issa's investigative committee busy and flush with resources. We predict a spike in executive branch abuses.
Oh, and make sure you support the states and the people with strong rhetoric as the year of the Tenth Amendment unfolds.