Tuesday, April 1, 2014
The Russian government released the following statement only minutes ago.
The persuasive oration we have been privileged to receive directly from American President Obama and Secretary of State Kerry, two of history's greatest diplomatic masters, has convinced us to observe 21st century protocol and withdraw our military forces back to their original positions inside the post Cold War boundaries of Mother Russia. We now recognize what clumsy oafs we have been on the 21st century international stage and regret behaving like a bunch of 20th century Russian imperialists. We wish to seek forgiveness for our recent sins and to rejoin the community of 21st century nations. Comrade President Putin has ordered all Russian government officials to attend cultural sensitivity training as an acknowledgement of the new 'Reset' diplomatic era. Comrade President Putin is also seriously considering giving back Robert Kraft's super bowl ring and issuing an apology for stealing it in the first place.
Filed under April Fools.
Posted by LibertyAtStake at 1:18 PM
Vladmir Putin Convinced to Withdraw From Crimea