Campaign Strategy Exclusive: Jack Wiley Dithers

(AP) – Jack Wiley Dithers reporting.

While checking into the Alexandria, Virginia Radisson hotel on personal, ahem, business; I noticed a number of prominent elected Democrats roaming the lobby. The investigation I immediately launched uncovered a presentation in the Grand Ballroom from the prominent political research firm Light, Leboon, Levin, and Lee. I was able to acquire a copy of the PowerPoint handout carelessly left behind in the Men’s Room.

Our staff of Nobel Prize winning Analyzers agree this is the best possible strategy available to the Democrats in this year’s election cycle. They have also reached a consensus that the Republican Party can gain 50 House seats and 7 Senate seats simply by keeping quiet. They also agree the Republican Party could gain 70 House seats and 12 Senate seats by articulating a principled conservative, pro-growth, constitutionalist agenda. They are presently in the courtyard engaged in a heated debate over whether the Republican Party is capable of such articulation.

Jack Wiley Dithers reporting.

Update 09/04/2010

Hey, now I can say I stole an idea from the dumbest man on television, Keith Olbermann.