“If You Can’t Scoop It, Make It Up.”
My spy in the White House dry cleaning division discovered a dog eared and crumbled piece of paper. This historic and unprecedented list was written in the President's hand and transparently documented his post-election agenda. After I took possession of it, and transcribed it to what you see below, it mysteriously disappeared from my desk. I strongly suspect, but am unable to prove, my wife used it as tinder in the fireplace. Just like that, my Pulitzer up in smoke. Looks like the next "family meeting" is going to be a doozy. In the meantime, you can enjoy what we learned from the Empty Suit's empty suit about his future.
Things I could do after losing the election:
(1) Run for old Senate seat. Come back, baby! note: Ask Axelrod which one he has the dirt to open up.
(2) Run for UN Secretary General. Movin' on up! note: big speech on conversion to religion of peace.
(3) Pro golf caddy.
(4) Ghost write Bill Ayers' memoirs.
(5) Host a show on Current TV. Anything Olbermann can do I can do better.
(6) Apply for job as ObamaCare IRS agent.
(7) Represent Michael Mann in his National Review lawsuit.
(8) Stump for Michelle. Anything Bubba can do I can do better. note: Ask Jarrett what Michelle wants to run for.
(11) Sell Nobel Peace Prize to the Pawn Stars. I gotta meet that Chumlee guy.
(12) Dedicate myself to finding out what happened in Benghazi and with Fast and Furious.
(AP) – Jack Wiley Dithers Reporting
“If You Can’t Scoop It, Make It Up.”
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