So, you’ve stumbled onto my humble little blog. Perhaps you are a Millenial wondering why most of your friends aren’t fully employed. Or wondering why ObamaKare is being shoved down your throat. Or why your generation is on the hook for a national debt that stands at $17 $18 Trillion and counting. Maybe you are scratching your head wondering why your President thinks Global Warming the weather is more worrisome than Islamic Terror. And perhaps you’ve started to become aware there might be something the corrupt and biased lame stream media isn’t telling you. The answer, to these and other existential questions, is ... the Left - specifically, the modern American Progressive. Think of this site as a portal to a richer understanding of this answer, a portal purposely designed with a consciously cock-eyed bent to keep it entertaining. Because the First Amendment is forever and the Internet never forgets. (Plus you better figure out FICA isn't the name of a Swedish bikini model, before she eats your entire paycheck.)

How to use the portal? You could dive into my archive*. I was most active here 2010-2012, but that matters not. How many times do I need to demonstrate the central point? To wit, the political / ideological Left is a menace to the constitutional republic and must be resisted lest the American experiment in liberty devolve into socialist dystopia. If it's the more pointed hand-to-hand combat of the comment board that whets your appetite, click the 'My Disqus Comments' widget. I continue to visit that world from time to time as a light diversion. Or you could browse through my blog roll. It's a very representative collection of center-right blogs, though hardly exhaustive. I can't do the political / ideology thing 24x7, and you probably can't either. Leave that to the hysterical, talking point chanting, mob agitating, race baiting, election stealing, gaia worshiping, straw man torching, Islamic Terrorist appeasing, organized Left (aka OFA, MSNBC, UAW, SEIU, Think Progress, Media Matters, most of legacy media, the politically correct faculty lounge, anybody who belonged to Journolist, anybody connected to Occupy Wall Street, anything funded by George Soros or Tom Steyer, their paid Internet trolls, and the rest of the usual Team Leftie suspects).

*Re-posting encouraged. No need to ask for permission. Just follow the commonly accepted convention of acknowledging this site as original source with a link back. That way, you leave the asking for forgiveness to me.

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Tuesday, August 16, 2011

It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

(AP) – Jack Wiley Dithers reporting.

When a transponder fell off of Marine One into the fairway of a public golf course, from which one member of our crack investigative journalism team was playing his sixth shot, we knew we had something special. We gave the critical task of decoding its secrets to one of our interns. When I saw him in the mailroom, re-enacting Al Pacino’s parking meter robbery scene from “Donnie Brasco” (Open Sesame!), I took over the job myself.

I detected four voices in a conversation, over the constant thwaka-thwaka background noise I have determined with my highly expert ears to be the sound of rotating helicopter blades. Using state of the art voice recognition software, I was able to identify two conclusively as White House political advisors David Plouffe and Valerie Jarrett. The third clearly had a Romanian accent, but other than Plouffe and Jarrett referring to him as ‘Vlad,’ his identity remains a mystery. The fourth apparently holds the rank of Major as well as a helicopter pilot’s license.


Major: Hey, that’s my house down there. How cool is that?

Vlad: Just maintain your prescribed flight pattern, Major.

Jarrett: Approaching LAS’ address.

Vlad: I like to start by learning something about the target’s immediate neighbors. What do you have on them?

Plouffe: Grey house across the street is owned by a class C troll on the payroll. He goes by the screen names ‘doncicciofitapaldi’ and ‘Joe Steel’ on the Daily Caller site.

Vlad: Any interaction with LAS we can leverage?

Plouffe: Nope – he’s even more reclusive and drinks even heavier than LAS.

Vlad: Who’s that guy walking the big white dog?

Jarrett: Navy Admiral. We actually have him on surveillance tape throwing his back out helping LAS’ neighbor move a couch through a second story window. Through a second story window! How stupid is that? It’s hilarious – we use the threat of posting it to Tosh.0 as leverage with the Major.

Major: I’m right here, you know.

Vlad: Can you use it as leverage with the Admiral?

Jarrett: We tried. He told our agent to take a long walk off a short pier.

Vlad: Who’s that guy on top of the white house? And what the hell is he doing?

Plouffe: It looks like – he is - he’s power washing his roof! Jeez.

Jarrett: Yep, that’s what he’s doing. We’ve noticed he’s quite the meticulous homeowner. Talks to LAS a lot, too.

Vlad: Anything we can use?

Plouffe: Apparently not. He’s completely taken in by the Alinksy play – he’s pissed off at everybody and everything. We’ve got his 2012 vote locked in, but there’s no talking to him about anything political. Win some, lose some.

Vlad: Who’s in those trucks that just pulled up to LAS’ house?

Jarrett: Oh, that’s his Mexican lawn crew.

Vlad: Are they all legal?

Plouffe: We decided against trying to find out. Even if they aren't, we wouldn’t use it. The agenda comes first.

Jarrett: There – LAS walking his dog.

Plouffe: Did he just – he did! He just gave us the finger!

Vlad: Mr. Soros will not be pleased with my initial report.


*This post is a work of satire. Any resemblances to LAS’ real neighbors are solely due to LAS’ lack of creativity.


While 'Vlad' and Barry's Abbott and Costello political team stalk LAS from the air, Barry leads the ground assault on Middle America.

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