So, you’ve stumbled onto my humble little blog. Perhaps you are a Millenial wondering why most of your friends aren’t fully employed. Or wondering why ObamaKare is being shoved down your throat. Or why your generation is on the hook for a national debt that stands at $17 $18 Trillion and counting. Maybe you are scratching your head wondering why your President thinks Global Warming the weather is more worrisome than Islamic Terror. And perhaps you’ve started to become aware there might be something the corrupt and biased lame stream media isn’t telling you. The answer, to these and other existential questions, is ... the Left - specifically, the modern American Progressive. Think of this site as a portal to a richer understanding of this answer, a portal purposely designed with a consciously cock-eyed bent to keep it entertaining. Because the First Amendment is forever and the Internet never forgets. (Plus you better figure out FICA isn't the name of a Swedish bikini model, before she eats your entire paycheck.)

How to use the portal? You could dive into my archive*. I was most active here 2010-2012, but that matters not. How many times do I need to demonstrate the central point? To wit, the political / ideological Left is a menace to the constitutional republic and must be resisted lest the American experiment in liberty devolve into socialist dystopia. If it's the more pointed hand-to-hand combat of the comment board that whets your appetite, click the 'My Disqus Comments' widget. I continue to visit that world from time to time as a light diversion. Or you could browse through my blog roll. It's a very representative collection of center-right blogs, though hardly exhaustive. I can't do the political / ideology thing 24x7, and you probably can't either. Leave that to the hysterical, talking point chanting, mob agitating, race baiting, election stealing, gaia worshiping, straw man torching, Islamic Terrorist appeasing, organized Left (aka OFA, MSNBC, UAW, SEIU, Think Progress, Media Matters, most of legacy media, the politically correct faculty lounge, anybody who belonged to Journolist, anybody connected to Occupy Wall Street, anything funded by George Soros or Tom Steyer, their paid Internet trolls, and the rest of the usual Team Leftie suspects).


*Re-posting encouraged. No need to ask for permission. Just follow the commonly accepted convention of acknowledging this site as original source with a link back. That way, you leave the asking for forgiveness to me.

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Saturday, January 22, 2011

JACK WILEY DITHERS EXCLUSIVE: SOTU ADDRESS 2011



(AP) – Jack Wiley Dithers reporting.


Our White House source was able to leave his shoe recorder behind in a high level planning meeting for the upcoming State of the Union address. The transcript we were able to recover for this exclusive report follows.

==

Barack Obama: Let’s bring this meeting to order. Gibbsy, where are the speech writers?

Robert Gibbs: They all quit on the spot when I told them you wanted to keep the tone civil.

David Plouffe: No worries, Mr. Soros has assembled a new team in Belgrade and they are in flight right now.

Barack Obama: Good. Let’s give them a great outline to start on. Accomplishments … around the table … Janet?

Janet Napolitano: We closed the deal on a border fence contract.

David Axelrod: Better not mention that one since that video went viral – the one with the women climbing the fence in a few seconds …

Barack Obama: {sigh} Eric?

Eric Holder: Record number of federal lawsuits filed against the various states.

David Axelrod: I don’t know, doesn’t seem very popular ….

Barack Obama: Geez, I need something to bring to the dance, people! Hill?

Hillary Clinton: Maybe we should play up a strategic break through with China. That was quite a coup getting them to let us keep the pandas.

Barack Obama: Alright, now we’re getting somewhere. Take it down Gibbsy. Joe? Joe? Wake up, Joe!

Joe Biden: [Snort!] Three letter word! J!O!B!S!

Barack Obama: Awesome.

David Axelrod: I don’t know – unemployment is still a touchy –

Barack Obama: Nonsense! Nobody messes with Joe. Gibbsy, you got that one?

Robert Gibbs: Uh, yeah … pandas, jobs.

Barack Obama: OK, what have we got for the loyal base?

Holder: Updated timeline for closing Gitmo.

David Axelrod: Uhhhh, probably better not mention Gitmo at all.

Barack Obama: David’s right.

Hillary Clinton: Updated timeline for withdrawing from Afghanistan.

Barack Obama: No, let’s just keep that to ourselves.

Robert Gates: Repealing ‘Don’t Ask’ is popular with your base. {sigh}

Barack Obama: David, what do you think?

David Axelrod: The public hates it, Gates’ soldiers hate it, but I guess it’s all we got for the base for now …

Robert Gibbs: pandas, jobs, gays … ok, got it

Barack Obama: Tim, you’ve been quiet. What do you have to pitch.

Tim Geithner: My guys have been working on a plan to radically reform the tax code.

Barack Obama: ‘Turbo Tax Tim’ wants to reform the tax code? I can tell ya I didn’t expect that one!

{Room erupts in laughter}

Barack Obama: What’s the angle?

Tim Geithner: Simplification –

{Room erupts in laughter}

Tim Geithner: No, seriously – what better way to punish your enemies and reward your friends than rewriting the entire tax code?

Barack Obama: Hmmmm, not bad …

Robert Gibbs: Ok, pandas, jobs, gays, tax enemies … got it.

Barack Obama: OK, let’s switch over to tactics. How do we get John Boehner to cry?

{Room erupts in laughter}

Joe Biden: I get to sit up there right next to him, right?

David Axelrod: Yes. {sigh}

Joe Biden: Easy – I’ll fill my pockets with raw onions!

Barack Obama: Awesome! I keep tellin’ ya – nobody messes with Joe!

Michelle Obama: Let’s make everybody wear purple, it’s perfect for the phony baloney civility thing: red and blue makes purple, get it?

Barack Obama: Isn’t that what we did last year?

David Axelrod: Yes. {sigh}

Barack Obama: Yeah, now I remember. You looked like some kind of giant grape, baby. I thought I was in some kind weird ‘Fruit of the Loom’ nightmare.

{Room is silent, awkward pause}

Barack Obama: Sorry, baby. Movin’ on …

Valerie Jarrett: Michelle has the right general idea – we can play up the civility thing. Some Congressman suggested having the members sit in a mixed party configuration instead of the usual blocs.

Barack Obama: Can we actually tell Congressmen where to sit?

David Axelrod: No. {sigh}

Barack Obama: Too bad. Let’s just see what happens, then. Who do we have on the guest list for pandering purposes?

Unidentified voice: Why don’t you bring in Sheriff Dipstick, moron?

Barack Obama: Who said that?

Unidentified voice: This shoe recorder thing is bi-directional?

Barack Obama: Who said that?

Unidentified voice: Roh-Roh.

Jack Wiley Dithers reporting.
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6 comments:

  1. They are really grasping here. Of course, they have so little to grab on to in terms of success. What else can be expected.

    ReplyDelete
  2. @Matt: How are things at the hideout? Since the old Progressive maxim is "change the subject and attack" here's what I'll be on the lookout for:

    - Thinly veiled 'blame Bush' (how else can they possibly set up a J-O-B-S discussion, as the reports are saying, given their abysmal record)

    - Thinly veiled 'blame right wing rhetoric (as the 'can't we all just get along' phony civility line goes)

    - Maybe even some thinly veiled 'blame Whitey (for the all-important 'Lah-Teen-Oh' vote.

    All I can say is I hope, for Barry's sake, Mr. Soros has some seriously good speech writers lined up.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I bet Oprah's family secret is Frank Marshal Davis is her real father, and Oblamer is her half brother....
    That way, Obummer can claim during SOTU that he actually IS a natural born citizen....

    ReplyDelete
  4. @Jethro: Who is this "Oprah" you mention? ;)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Mr. Soros has assembled a new team? Probably truer that you know.

    Great jot.

    Did you read "Obama's Con"?

    http://righttruth.typepad.com/right_truth/2011/01/obamas-con.html

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thank you, @Debbie. I do the best I can with my limited resources and boundless talent. :)

    ReplyDelete

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