Jack Wiley Dithers Exclusive: Bibi Schools Barry

My Mossad contact has provided me with a transcript of the private meeting between Barack Obama and Benjamin Netanyahu on Friday, May 20, 2011.  I have no knowledge of how he acquired it.  And if questioned under oath, I will plead Fifth Amendment privilege.  Our staff of highly trained Analyzers have authenticated the source material.

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Netanyahu:  “What the hell were you thinking?  1967?  Really?”

Obama: “Valerie told me that’s what you agreed to.”

Netanyahu:  “Who’s Valerie?”

Obama: “My advisor.”

Netanyahu: “If she’s advising you on Israel, why haven’t I heard of her?”

Obama: “I dunno. Let’s get her in here right now.  She’ll show you.”

{intercom comes on}

Obama: “David.  David?”

Unidentified voice: “This is Monica, David’s intern.”

Obama: “Where’s David?”

Unidentified voice: “Ummmm….temporarily indisposed, sir.  May I assist?”

Obama: “Please summon Valerie Jarrett to the Oval Office, please.”

Unidentified voice: “Sir, remember?  She’s delivering the keynote to the Socialist Workers Collective Union Party Conference today.”

Obama: “Ah yes.”

{intercom off}

Netanyahu: “Good God, it’s worse than I thought.  OK, Barry, listen up and listen good …”

Obama:  “How dare you address …”

Netanyahu: “Cut the crap N.W.O.  boy!  I need to make lunch with Eric Cantor.  If you make me late to that, then I’ll really be pissed.  Now, here’s the deal – if you didn’t know it before, know it now and know it good … we define our borders, right of return is a dead letter, and no way in hell is Jerusalem ever going to be divided again.

Obama: “Hey, I think we can negotiate here, Bibi”

Netanyahu:  “That’s ‘Prime Minister’ to you N.W.O. boy.  Listen, I don’t care what you say to save face.  Just as long as you make two points to AIPAC on Sunday, and I’ll take it from there.  Number one – the negotiation is strictly bi-lateral, got it?”

Obama: “What’s Kevin Jennings got to do with this?”

Netanyahu:  {sigh}  “That means no U.N. role – strictly between Israel and Palestine.  Number two – There is no negotiation until the Palestinians formally recognize Israel’s right to exist.  Got it?”

Obama:  “I’ll get Valerie on it right away.”

Netanyahu: {sigh} “I’ll be watching on Fox.  Don’t screw this up.”

Obama:  “And if I don’t?”

Netanyahu: “Mossad?  Pictures?  You, Soros, Ayers, Riviera, Speedos?”

Obama: “Oh.”

Footnotes

Inspired by (pictures clickable) ….

… and …

Update 5/25/11

While Barry does a credible imitation of Chevy Chase on his slapstick 'European Vacation,' Bibi takes care of big boy business with the US Congress.